10 TIPOS DE PERIODISTAS QUE PUEDES ENCONTRARTE EN UNA REDACCIÓN

Hola amigos del Mundo Virtual! Una mañana, cuando iba al colegio, nos llevaron de excursión a “Unidad Editorial”. Esa fue la primera vez que vi una redacción.  Mi primer...

Hola amigos del Mundo Virtual!

Una mañana, cuando iba al colegio, nos llevaron de excursión a “Unidad Editorial”. Esa fue la primera vez que vi una redacción.  Mi primer contacto con el mundo del periodismo. Jamás pensé que una década después yo misma pasaría mis días allí mientras hacía unas prácticas en la revista Telva. Recuerdo que todo me pareció fascinante. Los ordenadores, los cafés sobre la mesa, los teléfonos echando humo…los periodistas. Pero claro, una cosa es ver una redacción desde la distancia y la inocencia de los quince años, y otra muy diferente es formar parte de ella. Y como yo soy tan buena gente y he pasado ya por unas cuantas…he decidido esta semana informaros sobre cuáles son los tipos de periodistas o de especímenes (según lo mires)  que os encontraréis en cualquier redacción del mundo. Porque os  garantizo, como me llamo Marta, que trabajéis en la que trabajéis, no os faltarán ninguno de los que cito a continuación:

1- EL ETERNO BECARIO:

Dícese de aquél periodista que entrelaza una beca con otra y con otra, y al final lleva más años trabajando allí que el propio director de la publicación.chico gafas Sabe más que ninguno, trabaja más que ninguno, enseña incluso a los redactores fijos  y cobra (cuando cobra) una cifra totalmente irrisoria. Siempre le dicen que pronto le llegará el ansiado contrato pero nunca llega. Y jamás llegará. (Es un buen tío, fíate de él. La gente perseverante siempre merece la pena tenerla cerca).

2- EL ENCHUFADO

Dícese de aquél pseudoperiodista que llega a la redacción tras una gran recomendación. O sea, que es el hijo o hija de un mandamás,  y como su papá o su mamá maneja mucho, pues ahí que lo han metido a trabajar. man-324103_640La meritocracia en el periodismo, como en otras profesiones, también está infravalorada. Así que si veis a alguien especialmente inútil y que no sabe hacer la “O” con un canuto, no lo critiquéis con el resto de vuestros compañeros, porque a veces “el enchufado” mantiene su secreto a salvo y vosotros os podéis ir a la P*** calle. De nada. 😉

3- LA QUE MANTIENE UNA RELACIÓN “ESPECIAL”CON EL JEFE

girl-1242381_640Dícese de esa chica especialmente atractiva (en la mayoría de los casos) que suele vestir de manera insinuante y que cada vez que pasa el jefe por su lado le pone ojillos picantes. No es muy buena en su trabajo por lo que todo la redacción se pregunta: “¿Y qué ha hecho esta chica para trabajar aquí con toda la gente que hay en el paro?” pero por “méritos propios” está bien considerada por el jefe. Solo por el jefe. Cuidadito con meterte con ella.

4- EL BICHO RARO

man-869215_640Dícese de aquél periodista que trabaja en la redacción pero que igual que trabaja, podría no trabajar porque nadie le iba a echar de menos. Pasa totalmente desapercibido. Te cuesta a veces recordar su nombre y no quiere tener ningún tipo de vínculo personal con nadie del curro. No va a las comidas ni a las cenas de Navidad (siempre se inventa alguna excusa), fuma los pitis en soledad y nadie, absolutamente nadie de  la redacción, sabe que hace en su tiempo libre. De haber un asesino en la redacción, sin duda sería él.

5- EL REFERENTE

man-474281_640Dícese de aquel PERIODISTA con mayúsculas que lleva toda la vida trabajando en esa redacción y que todo en él es periodismo puro. Ese ejemplo de humano por el que empezaste a estudiar tu carrera. Suele involucrarse con las nuevas generaciones, se preocupa en enseñarles, en decirles por qué se debe hacer así algo o por qué no se debe hacer así…te saca de cualquier aprieto y cada vez que te habla, te sientes afortunada de que sepa tu nombre. Deberías tenerle siempre cerca.

6- EL NARCISISTA

handsome-885095_640Dícese de aquél periodista que tiene una idea exagerada sobre sí mismo. Que se siente el amo y señor de la redacción y que piensa que todos son unos mediocres a su lado. Valora su propio trabajo por encima de el de los demás y te hace ver que todo lo que tú haces es una gran M****.

7- EL “CORRE VE Y DILE”

man-590852_640También conocido como el “chismoso” de turno. No hay redacción en el mundo que se precie que no tenga al menos 1 periodista de este tipo. Dícese de aquel especímen al que le preocupa más el cotilleo puro y duro de la redacción que su curro. Piensa que su lugar de trabajo es como Gran Hermano y raro es el día que no te viene con frases de este tipo: “¡Qué fuerte! ¿Te has enterado de lo de Macarena…dicen que se lió con David?”. No le cuentes nada sobre tu vida. Ni quien te mola , ni a quien odias, ni quien piensas que es un vago…a no ser que quieras que todos lo sepan en menos de 3 horas. Ojito con él!

8-EL TREPA

businessman-805764_640Dícese de aquel periodista que entra detrás de ti en una puerta giratoria y sale el primero (METÁFORA EN MODO ON). Utiliza todo tipo de artimañas y de juegos sucios para progresar. El rumor es su principal arma y no le da ningún cargo de conciencia pisar a quien tenga que pisar para subir de rango en la redacción. No tiene amigos aunque suele poner buena cara a todo el mundo ya que ir por detrás es su verdadera especialidad. No tiene escrúpulos y no se casa con nadie. ALEJÁTE DE ÉL!

9- EL QUE SE CREE EL JEFE

designer-1125324_640Dícese de aquél periodista que siente que es el jefe en funciones. Es el tipo de redactor normal venido a más. Te ordena, te dice lo que está mal o lo que está bien, se cree superior al resto y en su cabeza siente que sin él la redacción se vendría abajo. A menudo recuerda ese momento en el que casi le nombran jefe pero siempre añade la coletiila de que fue él el que les dijo que no … según sus propias palabras “porque no le compensaba”...JA!

10-EL JEFE

business-1042709_640Y por último creo que todos tenéis a este tipo bastante claro. No hace falta ningún tipo de definición. Es el que manda, el que tiene siempre la razón…el que te da las vacaciones, el que te las quita, el que te sube el sueldo, el que te lo baja…aunque claro no todos los jefes son iguales. Por ello he hecho la siguiente clasificación de jefes:

  • EL JEFE AMIGO: Dícese de aquél que a pesar de su rango quiere que le vean como un igual. Es enrollado, te pregunta qué tal el finde, no solo se apunta a las cenas de Navidad sino que también se queda a las copas…te felicita cuando lo haces bien  y te dice que puedes mejorar cuando tu rendimiento no es bueno. Cuidado! Es super importante no confíarte demasiado. Es tu jefe, no tu colega. En cualquier momento, PUM! Un exceso de confianza y se va todo al garete. PRECAUCIÓN.
  • EL INMOVILISTA: Dícese de aquél jefe que hace de la frase “así lo hemos hecho siempre y así se va a seguir haciendo” su filosofía del trabajo. No quiere cosas nuevas, no le gustan los riesgos…Osea que no le propongas un reportaje de última hora ni de temas controvertidos porque ya sabes cuál va a ser su respuesta. NO!
  • EL SATANÁS: Este es el tipo de jefe con el que nadie quiere trabajar. Todo le parece mal, grita, os ve como una panda de inútiles y cada vez que habla sienta cátedra. No se puede dialogar…“Se hace así porque lo digo yo y punto”. Le teméis y preferís subir las escaleras antes que coincidir con él en el ascensor. Aunque sea un lunes a las 8 de la mañana y trabajes en un séptimo.
  • EL PELELE: Y por último mi favorito. Ese tipo de jefe que se deja manipular por vosotros. Que llegas tarde, no pasa nada, que mañana no vienes, no pasa nada, que has quedado con tu novio para ir de compras, bueno, tampoco pasa nada…Todo le parece bien y nada le parece mal. No quiere jaleos ni problemas. Y  no hay día en el que a la hora del café no os preguntéis unos a otros cómo es posible que esta persona cobre más que tú.

Aquí termina mi clasificación sobre los tipos de periodistas que conviven en esta especie de selva, que es la redacción. Estoy segura de que muchos de vosotros ya le habéis puesto nombre propio a la mayoría…

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